Proverbs 31:10-12 says, “An excellent wife who can find? She is far more precious than jewels. The heart of her husband trusts in her, and he will have no lack of gain. She does him good, and not harm, all the days of her life.”
As the wife of a pastor who has served over 23 years in the ministry, I have seen my husband go through many difficulties, heartaches, and challenges. Ministry challenges can include, but are not limited to, trouble with staff or leadership in the church, the heavy burden of caring for and walking with members through grief, tragedy and heartache, and the multitude of changes brought on by the pandemic.
Our husbands also deal with personal issues such as health crises, financial problems, and issues with children. So, whatever the challenge your man is facing, you have the power to do him good and not harm all the days of your life. No matter the difficulty, there are some practical ways to support your pastor husband through a challenging season.
Cover your man with prayers. You know the details and specifics of the challenge he is facing more than anyone else, so you can bring those before the throne on behalf of your husband. Hold his hand and pray aloud for him, and pour out your heart for him in your quiet time with the Lord, as well.
Offer very specific words of encouragement. When he has done something well, dealt with someone in a godly way, or shown grace in a difficult situation, offer heartfelt compliments that point out what you saw. Recently my husband preached a powerful sermon and gave a clear invitation for salvation. I was moved and expressed how God could use that to move in the hearts of others who heard it, even if they didn’t respond in that particular moment. I didn’t think much about it, but he later shared how many times he had thought back and been encouraged by those kinds of words. Use your words wisely to do him good.
Make your home a refuge and a place of peace and joy. Encourage him to get enough rest and sleep. Cook him a good meal. Do your part to make sure all aspects of the marriage are healthy (physical intimacy, spiritual intimacy, etc.).
Show him that you are unwaveringly his partner in ministry. Ask God for discernment about challenges your husband is facing. Offer words of warning if the Holy Spirit has revealed something about a specific person or situation that he may not see. If you sense that he is wrong or might not be seeing something clearly, gently point out what God has impressed on you.
Praise God that He has called and equipped you to be your husband’s helper and ask Him to help you do “do him good and not harm all the days of your life!”