Marking the milestones that matter most

Editor’s note: This column was written by a member of the Southern Baptists of Texas Convention’s Shepherds Collective. For more information, visit sbtexas.com/networks/shepherds-collective.

We live in a day when the busyness of families and the many facets of the culture enticing the hearts and souls of our kids is off the charts. In the last three churches I have served, we found that one of the best tools to combat these challenges is to train Christian parents to celebrate the spiritual and physical milestones of their children.

This conviction is founded with the truth of the Shema in Deuteronomy 6:4-7: “Hear, O Israel: The Lord our God, the Lord is one. You shall love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your might. And these words that I command you today shall be on your heart. You shall teach them diligently to your children, and shall talk of them when you sit in your house, and when you walk by the way, and when you lie down, and when you rise.”

Marking notable milestones provides a tangible rubric parents can grasp for easy wins on their journey toward Christ and as they lead their families. May I humbly suggest two milestones that have been a blessing for my wife and me as God continues to guide us to raise three teenagers to love God with their all?

Write a blessing letter

Becoming a teenager is a unique adventure. In our home, we chose to celebrate rather than lament. Prior to our daughters’ 13th birthdays, I prayed, sought Scripture to reference, and collected my thoughts in writing to communicate the love, admiration, and pride we experienced by observing our two girls who were quickly transitioning into godly women. My wife took the opportunity to do the same for our son when he was 12. The result of this affirmation was palpable confidence for our children to forge ahead in their individual faith journeys—so much so that they have these letters framed and in prominent places in each of their bedrooms.

Plan a pre-rite of passage weekend

Our desire is to launch our children into adulthood before they leave our home. In this way, they have time to practice making decisions on their own while still having the security of their parents if they fall flat on their faces. As this time drew near, my wife and I realized we failed to adequately communicate to our now 17-year-old the full measuring stick for forming a biblical worldview, obeying the mission, and maturing in the faith on which we were basing our decision to launch her. By God’s grace, we course-corrected and planned a father/daughter weekend where we could outline these categories, grow in heart connection, and make lasting memories. Upon our return, my wife and I have intentionally sought opportunities to reinforce these Scriptures and themes to our oldest with truth and grace. Our two younger children eagerly look forward to this special time.

For churches, ministries, pastors, and lay leaders who already practice a milestone strategy, my hope is that these suggestions will be a fruitful addition as you continue in faithful ministry. Those who are considering this conversation for the first time might experience a wave of intimidation and fret over all that needs to change. Relax and take it one step at a time.

Remember that every intentional faith talk or milestone celebration is better than not doing anything. It has been said, “While the best step is to start from the beginning, the next best step is to start today.” May God pour out His grace and blessing on you as you seek to equip and/or create a Christ-centered home.