The challenge of anger

Editor’s note: This column was written by a member of the Southern Baptists of Texas Convention’s Shepherds Collective. For more information, visit sbtexas.com/networks/shepherds-collective.

My son ought to be given a black belt in misplacing items. He’s fluent in it. When he was younger, I opened the pantry to find a warm carton of milk. I laughed on that occasion, but what wouldn’t be comical is to regularly go looking for milk in the pantry. That would be senseless. The pantry is not milk’s home.

I’m convinced it’s the same with our sin. We go looking for all the things Christ offers in all the wrong places—and pastors are no exception. One misplaced and prevalent sin in the life of a pastor is anger. It’s historically known as one of the seven deadly sins because it is highly volatile like old dynamite. Anger is old, universal, and complicated.

We find it in the first family. After God rejected his offering, Cain “was very angry, and his face fell. The Lord said to Cain, ‘Why are you angry, and why has your face fallen?’” (Genesis 4:5b-6).

Anger is as old as Adam’s family and it’s as universal as air. We’ve all felt it. A member prefers your predecessor’s preaching. A Sunday school teacher steps down during the holidays. A family leaves for petty reasons. You work with excellence on a project only for it to be misunderstood by the congregation. And right amid these disappointments, anger wells up like Old Faithful.

Anger is also complicated. God gets angry (Psalm 7:11), and yet He cannot sin (1 John 1:5; Psalm 92:15; Habakkuk 1:13). Anger isn’t inherently evil. God’s anger against sin—which is a form of love—motivates His judgment. Pastor, our problem with anger isn’t that we feel it; it’s that we misappropriate it. We decide a certain reality is intolerable, and our anger rushes in to defend what we cherish.

When anger rises, we must ask the same question God asked Cain: Why am I angry?

Take a simple example: a deacon suggests you wear a sports coat. Why does that comment feel painful? Perhaps you feel he’s questioning your competence, maybe threatening your freedom, or making you feel insecure. Whatever the case, your anger exposes a cherished idol—competence, freedom, or praise—that feels threatened.

So, we see red and spiral. We vent (baptized gossip). We defy the command, “Let every person be quick to hear, slow to speak, slow to anger” (James 1:19b). In worst-case scenarios, we let loose our tongue, leaving a wake of hurt. In the best-case scenarios, we become embittered, writing people off.

OK, all this is really bad news. What is a pastor to do? Here are four simple steps to help you defeat anger.

Ask early

Right when you begin feeling angry, ask the question: Why am I angry? This will help you understand if your anger is righteous or not. Are you being selfish with your time, schedule, or money? You might just find that your anger is all about you.

Repent immediately

Don’t let the sun set on this deadly sin. An angry pastor will be more inclined to wound sheep, breed fear surrounding their leadership, and distort grace—particularly if unrighteous anger seeps out in public settings. Take it to the Lord in prayer immediately.

Remember rightly

Anger grows out of misplaced affection, out of treasuring something more than God. When we interpret a situation as unacceptable, anger rushes in to protect our conclusion. Thus, we become beholden to something lesser than God and His glory. And in that, we lose out. We miss God’s best for us. We forfeit wonder. We become calloused to intimacy. Anger is a thief.

Love outrageously

Love is the virtue that puts anger in its place. Love is the great commandment. The more we love God and God’s people, the less we will give way to the sin of anger.

Deep down, I believe we want the carton of cold milk—which is Jesus and His presence. But anger keeps us reaching into the pantry only to come up with something far less than it’s supposed to be. Almost every instance of anger pulls us away from the fulfillment we long for in Christ and the joy we desire in our pastoral work.

Pastor, Christ offers something better. We don’t have to be awash in the deadly sin of anger.