English
Korean
Spanish
NEW ORLEANS—Counting it an honor and privilege to serve Southern Baptists as the wife of the president of the International Mission Board, Jeannie Elliff traced the hand of God in her life as she spoke to the Pastor’s Wives session of the annual Pastors’ Conference.
“He delivers me and he is near me when I’m broken-hearted,” she declared, recalling Psalm 34. “He saves me when my spirit is crushed. He delivers me from all our afflictions, and because he is so faithful, I cannot help but bless the Lord at all times; his praise shall continually be in my mouth.”
Aware that the “blinking lights” and “bouncers usher you off” the stage when speaking too long, Elliff quickly recounted the touchstones of her life that point to the promises of God’s deliverance described in verses 15-19 of the Psalm.
Growing up in a non-ministry family, she married a preacher who pastored nearly 20 years before God called them to the mission field of Zimbabwe. Their departure was bittersweet, leaving within a year after Tom’s father walked away from a 43-year marriage. “We were like two little kids holding on to each other,” she said, recalling the night her husband learned of his father’s lapse in moral character.
Still in their mid-30s at the time, Elliff said they were crushed and scared. “I can’t imagine what this does to a 7- or 5-year old,” she said, recalling how deeply his parents’ eventual divorce affected them as adults. “After that, things began to happen in our lives that really proved our faith.”
First, there was the act of sabotage that wrecked the car she was driving, throwing three of the four children out of the car and leaving their 14-year-old daughter on the highway pinned under the vehicle and eventually requiring a return to the States for medical care. Then, a 20-year pastorate began with recovery from the monumental debt the church had incurred in the years prior. Later, their 16-year-old son was hit by a car in which the driver was killed. In one year both of her parents died leaving her with the responsibility of selling their house and belongings.
Then there was the fire that destroyed their home in Oklahoma, followed soon after by the F5 tornado that exploded the condominium to which they had moved. A knee injury forced her husband to preach from a wheelchair during his three months of recovery and two battles with breast cancer taught her that he was a better nurse to her than she was to him.
Amidst those hard experiences there were many good ones as well—the weddings of all four children within a year’s time and the births of 25 grandchildren. When the second of two daughters left for the mission field, Elliff questioned her earlier thought that she’d be thrilled if all of her children were missionaries.
“That was my mouth, but it wasn’t my heart,” she recalled thinking. Once God gave her a love for the Cambodian people to whom her daughter would minister, she accepted his plan for her child’s life. Later, that love extended to the Thai people group that another daughter sought to reach, excited that they were “cousins of the Cambodians.”
At one time 11 of their grandchildren lived overseas. “Tom and I cannot grieve over the sacrifice we make in being away from our children, calling the nearly 5,000 Southern Baptist missionaries and their 4,000 children “the world’s unknown heroes.”
“When God broke my heart for missions as a pastor’s wife, and helped me get out of myself and the issues I was struggling with, I realized it’s not just about me,” she said. After developing an interest in the IMB, she realized it is only in eternity that the sacrifices of missionaries will be fully known. “Join me in getting to know who they are.”
PAM TEBOW
Another former missionary, Pam Tebow, challenged the wives of ministers to see their “fishbowl” lives as an opportunity for influence. “That’s not a bad thing. There are such advantages and great accountability. Use your influence intentionally because that’s why God created you—to glorify him.”
She taught them to get to know the Master, learn from his manual, discover the power of prayer, develop a biblical mindset that focuses on eternity, care about their mission and remain passionate about God and the opportunities he has given them to influence their children.
“When we invest in our kids, husbands, and ministries of our churches, those are things that last forever.” Her testimony provided highlights of her ministry with her husband in the Philippines and as the mother of five children, including NFL quarterback Tim Tebow.
Aware that many of those investments do not yield immediate appreciation, Tebow said, “We’re not patted on the back and we don’t get a lot of accolades when we do things on behalf of children, husbands and churches, but God notices and he rewards you eternally for what you do for the cause of Christ.”
ROUNDTABLE
Parenting preachers’ kids was the focus of a roundtable discussion led by Susie Hawkins, author of “From One Ministry Wife to Another,” joined by Elliff, as well as Carmen Howell of Daytona Beach, Fla., Elicia Horton of Kansas City, Mo., and Cindy King of Philadelphia.
Begun in 2005 as a pre-convention session of the annual meeting, the event is operated on a shoestring budget where speakers “might get a necklace” as an honorarium, according to one organizer. LifeWay Christian Resources and the North American Mission Board underwrite much of the funding necessary to rent the space and cover travel expenses of outside speakers.
The session was opened in prayer by one of the most experienced women’s ministry leaders in the country, Barbara O’Chester of Wake Forest, N.C., with Kathy Litton, national director of the North American Mission Board’s ministry to pastors’ wives, closing the session with a guided prayer applying the principles taught on behalf of preacher’s kids.
A triathalon competitor, Litton told of training at the YMCA where “the water’s real smooth, you can put your foot down when you get tired and hang onto the side.” In sharp contrast, the actual race held in Gulf Shores, Ala., was her first experience of swimming in the ocean.
“I was never a pastor’s wife until I was in a race,” Litton said. “Talking about being a pastor’s wife is like being in the lap pool at the YMCA. Being a pastor’s wife is like being in the ocean with salt water and lots of people. There’s not a good way to train for what we’re doing. You have to get in the water to figure out what’s going to happen when we get there.”
She encouraged wives of ministers to check out NAMB’s online resource at www.fourish.me as well as www.contagiousjoy4him.com for pastors’ wives and other women serving in ministry. A Facebook page labeled Pastor’s Wives of the Southern Baptist Convention provides information on the annual gathering and related resources.
