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Gregory Love and his wife, Kimberlee Norris, are attorneys who created MinistrySafe nearly three decades ago to help churches and ministries meet legal standards of care and reduce the risk of sexual abuse. This year, Southern Baptists of Texas Convention churches can participate in a series of MinistrySafe webinars called Journey to a Safer Ministry at no cost. Love recently spoke with the Texan about the challenges and opportunities churches face when it comes to protecting children.
What’s at stake for churches in terms of doing all they can to protect children from sexual abuse?
GREGORY LOVE: First and foremost, if our goal as the church is to introduce the gospel and disciple—there’s nothing more important. During that effort, however, a child or student must be safe. If a child is not safe while we share the gospel and disciple … the enrichment that can come from that experience can be lost. When it comes to child safety, we cannot wing it. We already prioritize spiritual growth; we also must prioritize the health, safety, and wellness of the vulnerable we’re trying to reach. Our children’s ministries and VBS programs are very attractive and effective programs in our churches. From a spiritual warfare standpoint, you’ve got to know that’s where the enemy focuses, as well.
In addition to the human cost, there are other costs. For example, the financial cost of resolving a sexual abuse claim has skyrocketed. It was about $250,000 per victim in 1997. Now the average cost is about $2.5 million per victim if it settles, and $10.3 million per victim if it is resolved at trial. When insurance carriers see that—and they do—they realize it is impossible to simply raise your premiums by 10% and cover those types of costs. In response, insurance carriers are limiting coverage options while also requiring churches, camps, schools, and nonprofits to improve safety system efforts in order to access sexual abuse coverage. Interestingly, insurance carriers are a unique influence in the church marketplace: They can require churches to make changes, and insurance carriers are taking this seriously.
Though there are a variety of things at stake to consider, the most important one is the impact sexual abuse has on a child and the child’s family.
What do churches that work with MinistrySafe learn that surprises them most when it comes to child sexual abuse prevention?
GL: The first big thing they learn is that most people have the preconceived idea that risk comes from an abduction offender—somebody who is on the outside just looking for an opportunity to snatch and grab a child. From that misconception, we embrace and rely on principles like “stranger danger.” But the abduction offender represents less than 10% of the problem.
The majority of the problem comes from what we call the preferential offender. This offender can be a male or female and has no visual profile. We cannot identify the preferential abuser visually; we must identify the preferential offender behaviorally. Those behaviors are known as the grooming process. The biggest thing churches learn is that there are types of abusers, and that they are usually focused on only the abduction offender. It is a watershed moment for a church to understand there is another type of abuser—the real risk—for which they are ill-prepared. When I share information about types of abusers, it’s a rude wake-up call for many of my churches to realize the efforts they’ve been relying upon are aimed only at the abduction offender.
I will often make my point by asking ministry leaders, “What do you have in place at your church to protect children from sexual abuse?” One of the common responses involves a child check-in system. After introducing the types of abusers and peer-to-peer sexual abuse, the gaps become more clear. Will your child check-in system keep an abduction offender out of your program? Perhaps. Will your child check-in system keep out a preferential offender? No. The preferential offender often has a name tag. Will your child check-in system solve peer-to-peer sexual abuse? No.
This is an important and fundamental takeaway from our trainings. Churches must wake up to the types of offenders and understand the true risk before prevention is possible.
What has changed over the past few decades when it comes to protecting children from sexual abuse?
GL: By and large, the grooming process of the preferential offender has not changed. One thing that has changed, however, is the acceleration of social media applications and forms of electronic communication that are difficult to monitor or supervise.
During COVID, you had technology racing to meet the needs of young people who were isolated. Teenagers and preteens wanted community, so they began meeting in groups online. Next thing you know, you have this person who’s gaming with this kid online and using the online community to manipulate and deceive. This guy may have a profile that says he’s a 13-year-old boy when really, he’s a 40-year-old man who’s on a sex offender registry. Meanwhile, a parent thinks as long as the front door’s locked, everything is good. We have to be able to manage and allow transparency for the way we connect with kids, but the predator is usually better at using technology than we are at policing it. For abusers … it’s [about] using technology to create relationships that are manipulated and betrayed.
What can SBTC churches expect that sign up for The Journey to a Safer Ministry webinar series?
GL: This series is meant to be a comprehensive, step-by-step communication effort providing ministry leaders with what they need to know to better understand the risk. With that understanding, ministry leaders can self-evaluate and discern next steps. Additionally, ministry leaders are introduced to the necessary tools to implement an effective safety system related to how the risk unfolds in ministry programs. This training is meant to allow a church, regardless of what stage along the road to prevention it finds itself, to learn what is necessary for them to do the next right thing.
May 21 | 10 a.m.
Policies That Protect: Writing and Implementing Effective Policies & Procedures
Aug. 27 | 10 a.m.
Reporting Abuse: Understanding Reporting Requirements and Overcoming Obstacles
Sept. 29 | 10 a.m.
Screening That Protects: Identifying High-Risk Applicants Before They Serve
Oct. 27 | 10 a.m.
Creating Background Check Strategy – Part 1
Nov. 17 | 10 a.m.
Creating Background Check Strategy – Part 2
What’s at stake for churches in terms of doing all they can to protect children from sexual abuse?
GREGORY LOVE: First and foremost, if our goal as the church is to introduce the gospel and disciple—there’s nothing more important. During that effort, however, a child or student must be safe. If a child is not safe while we share the gospel and disciple … the enrichment that can come from that experience can be lost. When it comes to child safety, we cannot wing it. We already prioritize spiritual growth; we also must prioritize the health, safety, and wellness of the vulnerable we’re trying to reach. Our children’s ministries and VBS programs are very attractive and effective programs in our churches. From a spiritual warfare standpoint, you’ve got to know that’s where the enemy focuses, as well.
In addition to the human cost, there are other costs. For example, the financial cost of resolving a sexual abuse claim has skyrocketed. It was about $250,000 per victim in 1997. Now the average cost is about $2.5 million per victim if it settles, and $10.3 million per victim if it is resolved at trial. When insurance carriers see that—and they do—they realize it is impossible to simply raise your premiums by 10% and cover those types of costs. In response, insurance carriers are limiting coverage options while also requiring churches, camps, schools, and nonprofits to improve safety system efforts in order to access sexual abuse coverage. Interestingly, insurance carriers are a unique influence in the church marketplace: They can require churches to make changes, and insurance carriers are taking this seriously.
Though there are a variety of things at stake to consider, the most important one is the impact sexual abuse has on a child and the child’s family.
What do churches that work with MinistrySafe learn that surprises them most when it comes to child sexual abuse prevention?
GL: The first big thing they learn is that most people have the preconceived idea that risk comes from an abduction offender—somebody who is on the outside just looking for an opportunity to snatch and grab a child. From that misconception, we embrace and rely on principles like “stranger danger.” But the abduction offender represents less than 10% of the problem.
The majority of the problem comes from what we call the preferential offender. This offender can be a male or female and has no visual profile. We cannot identify the preferential abuser visually; we must identify the preferential offender behaviorally. Those behaviors are known as the grooming process. The biggest thing churches learn is that there are types of abusers, and that they are usually focused on only the abduction offender. It is a watershed moment for a church to understand there is another type of abuser—the real risk—for which they are ill-prepared. When I share information about types of abusers, it’s a rude wake-up call for many of my churches to realize the efforts they’ve been relying upon are aimed only at the abduction offender.
I will often make my point by asking ministry leaders, “What do you have in place at your church to protect children from sexual abuse?” One of the common responses involves a child check-in system. After introducing the types of abusers and peer-to-peer sexual abuse, the gaps become more clear. Will your child check-in system keep an abduction offender out of your program? Perhaps. Will your child check-in system keep out a preferential offender? No. The preferential offender often has a name tag. Will your child check-in system solve peer-to-peer sexual abuse? No.
This is an important and fundamental takeaway from our trainings. Churches must wake up to the types of offenders and understand the true risk before prevention is possible.
What has changed over the past few decades when it comes to protecting children from sexual abuse?
GL: By and large, the grooming process of the preferential offender has not changed. One thing that has changed, however, is the acceleration of social media applications and forms of electronic communication that are difficult to monitor or supervise.
During COVID, you had technology racing to meet the needs of young people who were isolated. Teenagers and preteens wanted community, so they began meeting in groups online. Next thing you know, you have this person who’s gaming with this kid online and using the online community to manipulate and deceive. This guy may have a profile that says he’s a 13-year-old boy when really, he’s a 40-year-old man who’s on a sex offender registry. Meanwhile, a parent thinks as long as the front door’s locked, everything is good. We have to be able to manage and allow transparency for the way we connect with kids, but the predator is usually better at using technology than we are at policing it. For abusers … it’s [about] using technology to create relationships that are manipulated and betrayed.
What can SBTC churches expect that sign up for The Journey to a Safer Ministry webinar series?
GL: This series is meant to be a comprehensive, step-by-step communication effort providing ministry leaders with what they need to know to better understand the risk. With that understanding, ministry leaders can self-evaluate and discern next steps. Additionally, ministry leaders are introduced to the necessary tools to implement an effective safety system related to how the risk unfolds in ministry programs. This training is meant to allow a church, regardless of what stage along the road to prevention it finds itself, to learn what is necessary for them to do the next right thing.
